Sunday, October 31, 2010

Time to blog again

Yes, it has been a while. That's not an apology, just an observation. I think writing a blog should be fun. I started looking at mine like it was homework. I've never liked homework. Now I'm going to do my darndest to make it fun for me. Hopefully it will be fun for all who read it too.

Lots of things have happened in my life since I last wrote. Probably the biggest thing that has happened is; I decided to come out to my family and friends, and live my life as the gay man that I am. (yes, I know you're all shocked) For too many years I have done what I thought my family, my church, (God), and society as a whole expected me to do. I thought if I acted straight, I would become straight. I thought if I prayed to God, he would make me straight. None of that happened. What I learned was; there is nothing wrong with being who you are. I also learned that living a lie, and trying to be something you're not, creates deep unhappiness. I wish I had come to this conclusion years ago, but I'm learning that all things happen when they should. I still have a lot of things to work through, but luckily I'm surrounded by many supportive and loving family members and friends. I love you all.

I am still working at Cut Flower Wholesale. With the help of a therapist and prescription anti-depressants, I manage to show up to work on time every day and do what is expected of me without killing anyone. Luckily I still have my other job. Teaching at Knitch is my joy and my passion. If you had told me three years ago that I would be teaching people how to knit, I would have said you were crazy. Now I cannot imagine my life without it. I had no idea I would enjoy teaching as much as I do. Apparently I'm quite good at it, (that's what they tell me), and I plan on doing it as long as I can hold a pair of needles in my hands.

Hope you like the new blog design. Think "chocolate covered cherries" - one of my favorite color combinations!


Janice in GA said...

Let's see, what's changed: for me, nothing but a label. For you, I'm sure it's been much harder.

But you're still the same lovely, amazing person you've always been. ((hugs)) to ya!

Diana T. said...

Love ya, Sweetie!

katey said...

I know that I told you this at SAFF, but if you're like me, you will sometimes need a reminder of the positive for when there's a(many) bad day(s).

I love you, for being exactly who you are. And I am proud of you for being who you are. I'm glad to call you friend. (Even though I don't see you as much as I would like to {and that's my fault, because I have the lazy}.)

What you did was difficult (I can't imagine!), but my hope for you is that you will, in time, become more and more comfortable being you.

Long story short: Sending you much love, and deep admiration for your bravery.

Hockey Mom said...

You're a wonderful man and a friend. I'm so proud to call you that. Be who you are and how you need to be. Go forward and the path you need to take will open before you as you go. And as you're going, don't forget to look to the sidelines, we're all here cheering for you.

I'm so damned proud of you.

Jane said...

I'm so proud of who you are -- brave, honest, kind, and funny. And a good knitter, too. LOL I know you'll have a very happy future, even though there will always be a few bumps in the road. The man you are will carry you through anything that lies ahead.

famous steve said...

OK, first of all, you all made me cry, and second of all, HOW THE HECK DID YOU KNOW I POSTED SOMETHING?! I haven't blogged in over a year and a half, and I have comments the very next day! Is there some sort of "blog alert" thing I don't know about?

I love you all!

-- Jolie said...

It is so good to have you back blogging again! And many congratulations on taking a huge brave step that will bring so much amazing good into your life.

And to answer your question, yes, you can have a feed that alerts you when a blog you follow has a new post. The "blog list" feature also automatically lists blogs in chronological order, based on most recent post. Since your blog is in the list on my site, I noticed a new post.

I guess you are discovering there are more people who care than you realized. :-)

Janice in GA said...

Steve: I knew you posted because I still have your blog in my Google Reader feed. So your RSS feed for the blog is still active! :)